Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thanks For Nothing

That's right. Thanksgiving is just about upon us. The time of year we give thanks for what we have, not for lamenting on what we can never obtain. A time for reflecting on life's gifts and joys, and not focusing on the fact that the big-tit blonde who's been in the company for 8 months got the promotion you deserved after working your ass off for 7 years.

I was browsing some other blogs today and came across this one: http://www.offsprung.com/forum/topics/how-to-say-no

Reading how terribly intrusive and guilt lading this woman's mother is/has been all her life is maddening, to say the least. For fuck's sake, why can't people just stop being assholes to each other? Especially to the people they are supposed to love and support? I cannot begin to imagine what it's like to grow up with such bitter hatred and loathing coming from my parents. And the guilt thing? That's like nails on a chalkboard. There is nothing more douche-chill inducing than a person who blames their shitty life on everyone else around them, but themselves. Playing the victim card with a marked deck. Nuh, uh. Not to me, you won't. Shut your lint trap and fix your own life. Don't try to hover over mine and take a big shit on it. It's no wonder we don't have more serial killers in the world if this is how children are being raised. Listen up, kids. I have an important lesson to share. Are you thinking about what you want to be when you grow up, but having a tough time deciding? Be a therapist. Because it's painfully obvious that the world needs more of them. There sure as hell won't be a shortage of fucked up individuals anytime soon.

So, as I am reading this I began to put myself in her position. Not the giving birth part. Because, frankly I would look silly with my legs up in the air and pushing out something other than a fart. No, what I am referring to is being in the middle of such a life altering, beautiful experience only to have it ruined by this annoying yenta trying to be the center of attention and pouting like a 2 year old if she isn't. Because I would have a shit fit. A complete meltdown not seen since Chernobyl. I would have had NO problem kicking her out of the room. I would not hesitate. Thankfully, I never had to worry about that. Because my parents never stuck their noses in when I became an adult.

They said nothing. They enforced nothing. They projected guilt on nothing.

So, to Ma and Dad, I say thanks. Thanks for nothing. It has always been much appreciated.

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