Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Walking is For The Birds

My daughter and I decided to go for a walk the other day. I had visions of a leisurely stroll, basking in the warm sun, sharing a beautiful Norman Rockwell painting-type moment with my one and only child. Instead it ended up like a crumpled up section of the Sunday Comics.

OK, so during our walk we saw this little baby bird waddling by the side of the road. It's eyes were half closed and the feathers were all matted. He was chirping, but he sounded more like an 80 year old lady who smoked too many Camel non-filters back in the day. Not exactly a soothing experience.

None the less, it was still cute in a regurgitated piece of ham sort of way. And obviously this poor little fella was misplaced and calling for it's mother. Even the Grinch would have felt a twinge of sympathy and sadness for it. Right before he BBQ'd it and ate it. But that's neither here nor there.

Gabbi asked what we should do and I said "Nothing. We can't pick it up. Because if we pick it up then the mother will want nothing to do with it. Plus, if she's around and sees us picking up her precious little baby, she'll swoop down and peck our eyes out!!!!" And then I got the look from my daughter that I have seen oh so many times in her 11 year career as Daddy's little self esteem killer. "Daaaaaad, you're so immature. When are you going to grow up?"

So, we kept walking. We both felt bad though and wanted to do something. She kept worrying it was going to get run over.

On our way back she asked "I wonder what happened to the bird? I bet it got run over by a car. I really hope not." So we walked towards where we had seen it and the bird was gone. I'm guessing the mother picked it up and took it back to the nest. How's that for positive thinking? Too bad my cynical child doesn't seem to think that way.

"Where is he, Dad? I hope he's OK. I bet a car ran it over." I just looked at her and said "Oh yeah, smarty pants? If a car ran it over, it would be squashed on the ground. Where is it then?" And here was that look again. "Probably under some guys wheel Dad, duh!!!"

My daughter was so dumbfounded that I didn't have the "common sense" to know that if this tiny example of one of God's creations got run over it would end up stuck in the crevice of some young punk's Toyota Corolla with spinning wheel covers.

Next time, we're taking the bus.